Wednesday, March 24, 2010

On being sick

Okay so as I head into day 14 with a cold I am reminded of my need for patience....one more day of coughing and feeling blocked...sigh...no workouts with Misty...no long runs with Katie...just sniffles.

Last night I ran with the new beginner group and spent most of my time coughing and trying not to let my bladder go while I was simultaneously running and coughing....perhaps I should have just attached Go Girl to my body as a spout for the night. Upon coming back I nursed myself with way too much of Katies cake (2 pieces) and then soaked in a hot bath..where I became inspired by reading an old copy of Runners World.

I pulled out 2 recipes from in and tonight will make one. I have a great vegetarian chili simmering now and some brown rice in the rice cooker.

Tomorrow I am supposed to start trail running with my wise friend Dan, luckily he hasn't run in a year, I hope not to pee myself while running with him....

Breathe, relax and let go, my mantra while I sick.........I have completely finished a bottle of wild oil of oregano....so much for it's promised miracle cure....Breathe, relax let go. I am not so good at being sick....off to shower and eat some chili

Sunday, March 21, 2010

French Fries with Brian

After blogging about needing someone wise in my life I decided to pick up the phone and call a friend in Ottawa who is a mentor of mine, the last several months my busy schedule has prevented me from calling him, mostly I think because my mind has been occupied.

It was as if the months had never passed, we talked for over an hour on the phone and I slept feeling like a million bucks. Cobwebs cleared, great advice given and I feel strong and sure of my choices.

Friends like Brian are blessings in my life.

Brian and I in particular have a strong connection, we have had similar lives, but he is much more worldly than I. What I like is the strong personal connection combined with his past business experience so that when I discuss my thoughts and goals I receive feedback based on years of business experience and similar personal experiences.

Also he likes me which is important, he thinks I am great, and gives my positive feedback on my progress in this crazy world of monkey minds.

I think the fact that our relationships starts with mutual like is so important from there we have built a foundation of trust and then, over the 12 years we have been friends, his sage advice has been good for me.

I listen so carefully when he speaks, because he has this ability to zero in on what is really happening and I get really amazing feedback, it is like he just knows what I need to hear.

I think too because he lives so far away I haven't developed an unhealthy dependency on his advice which can happen in these types of relationships.

He is retired now from some really important roles in business and talks a great deal about his family and friends. He is a bit crusty at times...in many ways he reminds me of my Dad, they are the same age.

I have a tripped planned to Ottawa next Fall to spend some time with him face to face and eat french fries, I always order fries when I eat with Brian it is our thing. I haven't ordered French Fries since the last time we had lunch together which was about 3 years ago. I will spend a great deal of time preparing for this time together because we see each other so seldom, I will review my life since the last time we met and talk over with him my successes and failures and share my plans for the next few years.

I have some major goals I have been planning for 2011 and 2012 but before I proceed I will eat French Fries with Brian.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Just a Whoo Hoo

Today I had my mugs shots/passport pictures taken...one more little step on the journey to Thailand.

I also committed to trail run Thursdays with a great friend, I love this guy. He is a very long time friend and no matter what I say, he can always guide me back to the quiet place, where answers come from. He is light and fun....he thinks I will be helping him lose weight...I think he will be helping me stay true to my soul. He has these great expressions and will always remind me to pray or connect with a power greater than myself. He is also one of the funniest people I know, so his insights are full of humour, often about himself. We used to run together but then he met a woman and falling in love took up all his time, I was thrilled for him and they now live together. Recently he retired so once again has time..

Funny I was just saying to a student this morning I don't have anyone right now in my life that is really spiritualy wise, and suddenly my friend Dan and I connect and we make plans to trail run on Thursdays.

Misty would call this instant Karma.

Food Today

Breakfast - chocolate protien shake - yikes I slept in, this cold has kicked the crapola out of me.
Snack - Kasha Bar
Lunch - Sushi Rolls
Dinner - Whole Wheat Raviolli in a low fast alfredo sauce......I will throw in some ograinic spinah and steamed carrott slivers.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

So how is my weight coming along ?

I started this blog to track my weight loss and the journey to lose that extra weight I carry around.

My weight is maintaining, the extra lbs gained over Christmas are gone which makes me feel more comfortable in my body and now I am back to that next 10lbs... I haven't really been focusing on my food too much some days I don't eat enough other days maybe too much.

Today I thought I should get back on track because really if I don't focus on losing weight it just doesn't happen or my weight creeps up. Where energy flows energy goes.

I was really pleased with my progress up until Christmas where I seemed to get off track and since moving into the studio I am finding it hard to cook meals since I don't want strong smells.

Tonight I really wanted to have a good meal, cooked at home. I regretted eating out Monday night with Frank, I felt too sick to cook but ended up paying way too much for an average meal.

I opened the Fridge and saw scarcity.....I stood there hmmmm. One of the advantages of being my age and having cooked a lot is that I have a hard drive full of experince. After staring blanking at the fridge, opening drawers and sticking my head into the freezor a healthy meal started appearing in my mind.

I steamed baby carrots and green beans lightly I then added the green beans to a home made honey and garlic sauce. As well I sauteed shrimps in green pepper, onion, organic spinach and then added some left over tomato sauce from last week.

I boiled some whole wheat pasta, the shrimp dish will go on the pasta with a bit of grated Asiago cheese.

It turned out to be am amazing meal, low fat, healthy and full of colour, and only a fraction of the cost of eating out.

Frank walked the dogs in a local forest while I cooked dinner.

I love to cook from scratch...it it like yoga to me , calming, real and one of lifes simpler pleasures

Simple is better right now.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Thailand with Martha Stewart aka Katie

So now that is is official I am going to Thailand I am finding out that I have a couple secret admirers...hmmm I rarely think of myself from the point of view of being attractive to men.

But I have had a few offers of companions on my trip to Thailand...men who would love to come stay with me for a week, in tropical paradise, without the knowledge or consent of my husband.

I have to laugh at this...in a way...somehow my vision of tropical paradise involves doing yoga, chanting and chilling on the beach...the vision never included a man at my side...I am still debating whether or not I really really want my husband to come or I am just using his company to quiet my fears.

Now I love men and consider myself a great wife....but there comes a time when honestly they become less the central focus of your life...I have spent my entire life either wanting a relationship, being in a relationship or trying to make a relationship work. Seems like I have had one ongoing, and overlapping relationship since I was 18, which is 31 years ago.

So should I take a "lover" to Thailand he is going to have to be very very accommodating LOL.

It would definitely entail me being served coffee in bed, and maybe some hot baths being drawn, hmmm perhaps I could have this man keep the room clean and do some laundry while I am at classes, wouldn't it be great to come home from school to a meal or at least the restaurant planned. I love to hike so a hiking companion would be fun and safe....some lavender oil rubbed into my dry skin...hmmm this picture is getting better.

My days will be full while I am away there are classes and lectures every day and every evening, leaving me Sunday off. That might be a good day to have a romantic encounter if I can still move after doing around 30 or so hours of yoga the week before....I was imagining sitting by the pool, relaxing with some water , a book, and enjoying a great nap.

So as I write this and it becomes very clear I need a wife in Thailand not a lover..it becomes even more clear that Katie should fly to Thailand with me....the Martha Stewart of Whitby could take on Thailand with a storm...

Now there are ton of things I would love to write in this Blog, but my mother reads it and it is far too public to let my full sense of humour be exposed...that I save for coffee dates with my girlfriends.

I mean because there are some handy things a man could provide that Katie can't and a month is a long time.

Monday, March 15, 2010

It is almost official, I hope to be in Thailand in time to start the July 19th, 30 day intensive....it is all coming together sooo easily.

Frank is also excited for me he is now 100% behind the trip, in fact he is considering joining me for a couple of weeks, then flying home early. This works for me as it overcomes my fear of travelling alone the first time and also will give him the break he needs.

He is so excited he is already talking about the next time we go, as there are tons of courses offered. Our goal as a couple has always been to deepen our personal spirituality and knowledge and one day work full time in this field. So I have been building the studio in the hopes of one day having it be our main focus and business.

here is the link to where I will be heading http://www.agamayoga.com/.

Our bungalow will over look the pool and the water and be raised off the ground. There will be 2 classes as day with lectures and then evenings can be free time or related movies and Kirtans.

For those of you who know me well, you will be as relived as me to know that there is a local sushi restaurant, I will not have to go too long with out my addiction. Latte's may pose a problem...however...I will be packing my favorite ground coffee from Second Cup. I have no plans to run while I there, I may do a detox and some holistic treatments....but I will not be doing anything that involves hard work or pushing...this for me is a much needed time to rejuvenate...I also plan on booking private time with the lead swami and discussing my path and clearing out some cobwebs.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Sledgehammer Moments




I am home sick with a cold today which probably works out to be a good thing I was supposed to run 16k, attend a 90th Birthday party for my Grandmother and help out at a Church function this evening. Now I sit in my pj's drinking a latte and contemplating my life.


A sledgehammer moment is when something hits you so hard that you know it to be true. I have had several of those lately, things I want to deny or push away, changes I need to make that just seem like Mount Everest would be easier to climb.


Yesterday I had a huge sledgehammer moment and I can't help but want to hide from it. Fear grips my belly as I think about making changes so big.


I am not one to back down from a new challenge I have lived my life trying new things, I have parachuted, cliff dived, kayaked down rapids, started new businesses, left a marriage and more. Most of these involved a huge amount fear, fear that I was able overcome usually at the last moment.

I remember parachuting, it was my first time in a plane, I was sitting on the edge of the plane, my feet dangling into the wide open sky, the wind was so strong I had to hold tight to the edge of the door to resist being blown into the door frame. I was terrified and wondering if I was going to be able to jump. Then I heard the words...jumper number one jump....with a push and a scream I dove out of the plane, a pull cord opened my parachute after several seconds but in those moments just before it opened there was a sense of peace that I had never before experienced, I have never forgotten that sensation of floating of being one with the sky.


Years ago I used to listen to a spiritual teacher called Marianne Williamson, in my early days of changing myself as a person, her tapes guided and grounded me, I would listen to them while on the road to sales calls. She would say " would you rather live with the sharp pain of change or the dull regret of not changing". Truly I could live the rest of my life as it is right now, I am not unhappy, in fact I am quite happy I just know that there are changes required.

So this morning I am thinking about the steps it will take to make this change and planning that as well. Small steps to lead to big change.

Making changes required a large degree of faith, faith that things will work out know matter what.

14 years ago this June I left my first husband, I could have stayed, I was not too unhappy, I had a great family and friends and a wonderful daughter, I still have these people in my life today. I just knew deep down that this marriage wasn't right for me. Shortly after I left him I felt sorry for myself because my marriage didn't work out. Then I overheard a conversation and had a sledgehammer moment, this woman said that once you make a choice it is up to you to make it the right choice. So in that moment I decided to make my divorce the right decision, it was not easy, I took up mountain biking and did a few things just for me. Soon I met my current husband and was swept into a new life with his family.

Today I see how that decision was so right for not only me but for my ex husband, I see how happy he is and I feel so glad for him. Our daughter laughs at the thought of us ever having been a couple she can't see that we have anything in common.

But in planning change today I will approach it in a more adult way, thinking of the 4 aims of life,
Artha (Prosperity), Dharma (Duty), Moksa (Freedom) and Kama (Pleasure) I will try to keep these in balance.

One day I was talking to my mother I was impatient because my newly planted bulbs were not yet showing above ground yet, she said to me "the roots go down before the flowers grow". This small saying I have repeated to myself over and over again for years. I have quoted it and used it during speaking engagements, change/new growth can be happening very deeply before it appears for the world.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

I spent almost the entire afternoon with a good friend, in Second Cup, it was a catch up day as we have not spent any time together for quite awhile.
Twice during this time something she said hit my like a sledgehammer, one thing she said hit me so hard that my jaw almost dropped, it was so true but is not something that I want to change right now.
The second challenge she gave me was to start booking my trip to Thailand so that I actually go.
I am now officially planning my trip to Thailand I have been talking about it but not really planning, so my next step is to plan, today I contacted the school and a local resort and began reviewing weather predictions and travel arrangements to plan for the best time to go, I hope to avoid Monsoon season.
I have a spread sheet done, I know how much money I need to live for a month in Thailand, it is not that much, most of my flight will be covered by Visa Air Miles, the only thing that puts a little knot in my stomach is the trip from Bangkok to the Island of Koh Phangan, it includes a day long bus trip, a boat ride and another bus.
I can't imagine travelling so much by myself I feel a little nervous. Being alone in an unfamiliar country, being tired, catching planes, buses and boats. I could fly from Bankock to Kom Samui but the cost is high in comparison, maybe I should spend the extra money the first time to feel safe.
From Kom Samui where there is an airport, I would still need to catch a ferry to Koh Phangan and a bus to the resort.

I don't do tired real well, which makes me a poor traveller, this is really going to be a big challenge for me to overcome.
As I read through the travel arrangements Florida starts to sound like a good idea...I know I am being called to Thailand and really want to immerse myself in this program.....but a bus ride through an unfamiliar country to catch a boat, sounds like a rough day of being tired and popping anti nausea pills. I get car sick at the best of times.

The island is stunning beaches, outdoor yoga classes, lectures and more...I hope to snorkel a bit and since I will be alone I will be forced to really open up and meet new people from around the world. The knot gets bigger the more I plan, sometimes I am such a chicken.
I have also committed to a trip to Costa Rica with my friend, she like me loves the outdoors, and we are planning to hike, bike and propel through valleys on ropesand then end the day in a good hotel with some great food no camping or roughing it for us. This will be a fun trip and an adventure.
For years I have talked about travelling but for many reasons just couldn't , from this point on I am going to make travel a priority in my life, there are still things I want to do and since in 6 months I am going to be 50 I need to get going as some of the things might be a little challenging as I get older.
This is my personal to do list.
Study Yoga at the Agama School
Learn to windsurf
Taking a gliding lesson
Dive (not just snorkel).
Cycle in Scotland
Visit India
Still debating a marathon

Friday, March 12, 2010

Living in the Day

I consider my self a fairly spiritual person, my life is far from perfect, but I live with a great deal of awareness of my actions and thoughts. I generally know what my intentions are when doing something. I have a fairly good grip on who I am as a person, I know my weaknesses I know my strengths. I work hard at not letting my petty weaknesses take over. It has taken me a lot of hard work and years to get to this point, a place where I can say I like who I am, despite the fact that I sometimes mess up big or react poorly. I accept being human.

I enjoy my life and my business, it is sometimes hard to separate the two because so many great people have walked in the front door of my studio and become my friends.

Never would I have thought that owning a small business in Brooklin could have brought so much joy to my life. If someone had have told me 10 years ago, that one day I would be a full time yoga teacher I would have laughed so hard. My goal back then was definitely corporate, making more money and bringing in bigger and better clients was always on my mind. How can I make more money ? how can get better clients ? These questions were always on my mind.


Sitting on the floor teaching yoga...a great stress reliever but not a way to earn a living.

I have often spoken about my life and said, that, if I had planned my life I would have set my expectations allot lower. I try as much as possible to go with the flow and jump through the doors that open unexpectedly even if I feel a little nervous or perhaps terrified.

Jumping through these doors has taken me down a path so different from where I thought I would be at this stage of my life, but it has been sometimes a very scary path with a great deal of uncertainly and a lot of blind faith. There have been times when I have thought I must be insane I would look back to the corporate world as a safe place to run back too.....

Last night I was teaching prenatal yoga, and I was just enjoying the moment. As corny as it may sound sharing this time with women is really an honour, it took me back to my early years when I personally struggled so hard with the decision to have a child or not. I was so unhappy at the time I couldn't have imagined being able to be a good mother.

They all have a story, one of my students tried for years to have a baby she ended up going to fertility clinics and even then it took years, she is due in just a short time and I have never seen her more content. You just know she is grateful for this chance to be a Mom.

Another is having her first child with her child hood sweet heart, they met in grade 8 and have been friends ever since. Her story I find so simple and so different than mine and it fascinates me.

A couple of months ago I was having lunch with my daughter and she said to me that I have had a hard life, she is young and I guess she sees my past demons and my divorce in this manner. She said it with a great deal of compassion, she loves me and it is obvious to me that she loves me.

I prefer to think of my life as a creation of the universe. A sculptor starts with a huge block of stone and then chips away great portions of it, he then smooths then polishes it and in the end you have a a piece of art. I am still in the chipping away stage, no where near being polished and or ready to be considered art, maybe at the stage where you can actually see what the statue is going to be.

I am thankful for my life exactly as it was and as it is today.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

A little late night snack blew my great track record.

Some melted cheese on flatbread a couple slices of genoa salami and some cucumber slices . I have been trying not to eat late at night but after teaching back to back classes last night I was hungry and went for the high fat food that I love. Looking over the day I realise that my dinner of reheated veggies left over from Saturday night was absent of protien which left me starving shortly after.

But I still made the choice to go for the high fat cheese and salami, justifying it, by convincing myself, that running 14k the day before had earned me this little "treat".

I am usually the one saying that is off centered thinking, you don't earn food, you eat for energy and vitality....earning food is some sort of weird reward system like earning a beer or earning a cigarette etc.....next I will be earning scotch.....

Melted cheese on anything is a real weakness of mine.......I always try to think of HALT...(hungry, angry, lonely and tired), when one or more of these are occruing in me at any given time I am weak and prone to making choices that aren't in my best interest.

Last night I was hungry and oh so tired...hence my little "fat fest"....

However I am also not into beating myself up....I feel great today and with some preplanning will have healthy snacks in my fridge and better protein at my meals.

Todays Menu

Breakfast Pita, apple, low fat Havarti
Lunch - Brown Rice Wrap, tuna salad with spinach.
Dinner - Grilled Chicken on Salad, with some grated cheese, and veggies.
Somewhere during the day I will will have some snacks, maybe some almonds or a protien shake.

Spinning today, my run is cancelled due to a Birthday celebration tonight and a busy day of private students.

Monday, March 8, 2010

Go GIRL

So this is a GO GIRL. Normally I wouldn't Blog twice in a day but this is a special day...I should have mentioned that I learned about GO GIRL's during my run yesterday.....yes liberation is here ladies...we can now pee standing up like men, anywhere, anytime...

Now I don't recall ever wanting to be like a man but I must admit they seem to pee anywhere they want, while I hunt down washrooms, stand in line ups and look for very secluded spots when in the woods.

Of course it is pink, hmmmm I think I will leave that one alone. The Ad tells me I can use it while skiing, hiking, boating and more.

Looking at its shape it is more like a funnel than a man part.....it points straight down, would I therefore have to stand on the edge of the boat to be able to aim it directly in the water ? So picture me with my Go GIRL standing on the very edge of a boat trying not to get my shoes wet.

So lets try skiing, I am in my skiing pants which has a big front zipper, so I pull down the zipper all the way and insert GO GIRL, it must be very flexible otherwise one more time I would be pointing it to my ski boots.

So lets for arguments sake say it it is very flexible that I can actually direct the flow...somewhere other than my feet. What do I do when I am finished I have to handle my now wet GO GIRL, does it shake off ???

Is there a water proof bag I can carry it in ? If so, do I hang it around my neck for the next time ? What if I have to use it again, do I reach into my little GO GIRL bag and pull out my wet used GO GIRL, now my hands are dirty....oh my, now I need a little hand sanitizer, then I put my twice used GO GIRL away for later.

Is it dishwasher safe or do I have to clean it by hand ? So many questions that aren't covered on the Web Site.

I for one will wait for my friends to try GO GIRL, and continue the old fashioned way of holding tight until my bladder feels like bursting and at the last resort squatting all I need is better lookouts.

Bu then again maybe I could write my name in the snow



Sheree

So my blogging is not going so well, I have been busy with some new private students and some updating of teacher training manuals.

My husband too is taking up a ton of my time, now that we are once again together 24/7 he seems to have taken an interest in my business and is now CEO and General Manager....I just have to teach, market, and research while he manages me....keeps me on task...in some ways it is great...in other ways I want to hide from his constant talk about what I am doing and if I have done this or that....how the sales were today at the studio etc....taking the good with the bad means I try to just smile and nod and be grateful for the help he has given me. I will be excited to announce something he applied for today if we get it.

So running is my away from my husband time.....I love running and have learnt allot while running.

Top things I have learnt while running

1) Colonics do not hurt, in fact they feel pretty good.
2) Katie and Misty are crappy lookouts when you are trying to pee at the side of the road.
3) You can purchase degrees in the U.S. which Canadian Hospitals accept as real...hmmm Dr. Sheree Nicholson.....
4) Yummy Mummy on mapmyrun loves hills, don't take her routes.
5) Ken Waugh showers his wife with gifts...need some more wives Ken ????
6) I am like my Golden Retriever Muggins- ( this is one the nicest comparisons I have ever received. )
7) Katie has to take 2 strides to Misty's 1 stride, does this mean she is running faster ?
8) I cannot run and chew and swallow Sharkies.....plus Sharkies get stuck to the front of my teeth...making for a great Sharkie Smile.
9) Moaning in a low voice while increasing your distance is involuntary and totally out of my control.
10) I am basically a lazy runner, I only like to plan flat routes and will not under any circumstance run directly into the wind for an extended period of time.
11) If I had a swear jar in my home it would be full of money.
12) Petro Canada at Winchester and Thickson has the cleanest Bathrooms in Brooklin great for pee breaks and more private then the side of Columbus Rd.
13) The coffee after the run is even better then the run....
14) Running 14k does not mean my husband will give me a break from my duties......
15) Running with great friends makes the pain bearable...


P.S. I have lost the weight I gained over Christmas and am on to that next 10lbs..

Food Today

Breakfast Pita with lowfat Havarti
Mango Protien Shake
Egg White Omelette with organic spinach, mushrooms and a bit of grated very old cheese.
Loooong nap today.......