The Dark Cloud LIfted

I have been too cranky to Blog all week, the dark cloud of hormones along with the grey dull weather, made for a tired Sheree. All week long I just kept thinking...... "this too shall pass", I am not going to feel like this raving maniac forever. I was beginning to doubt those words and this morning I woke up feeling amazing.

My food this week has been generally good I am down a lb making my total loss since blogging 9lbs...one more l lb to go for my original goal. I did eat two hot dogs late one night, no buns, just the dogs....some weird craving I had......

I have run twice this week, I spun (is this the right word ?) once, taught classes and have 2 more runs on the radar.

I am sad to say my small group training is ending until the New Year....my wild and crazy Friday nights,lunging and squatting...are on hiatus.

I need to find their replacement I really like weights but doubt I could work that hard on my own....I am considering trying but putting thoughts into action when it comes to pain just dosen't seem to work for me.

Small group training has had a dramatic impact on my body, it is toned, I have lost a ton of dimples in my legs and I like what I see.

The great news is I made it through the week without offering any advice, critism or unkind words to my husband...whew....I may have not been my normally cheerful self....and I rushed out of the house a few times, thinking "keep your mouth shut"....but I made it no damage done....women in general can be horrific to men during PMS and I am no different......breathing really helps long slow breaths.

I am planning a really healthy food day today.

Breakfast
Cottage Cheese, 1/2 banana, granola
Snack - apple with nut butter
Lunch - tuna Sandwich
Snack - 2 oranges
Dinner - Wild Salmon, turnip and roasted red potato's

Thinking about a hot yoga class at 5:00 if all goes well.

Namaste

My Inside Voice

This week has been a tough one in many ways, I have worked too much this year and I need a holiday or at least 2 days off in a row...my inside voice is very stressed...when I get tired I go crazy (inside), I woke up Tuesday morning and was serenely drinking coffee, or so I thought... when my husband walked by (my inside voice thought...why can't he pick up his feet ?) I knew right then, in that moment, that if I was criticizing the way Frank walked I was in a bad way...so I took off to see some female friends and get a little boost of their positive energy....it worked for awhile...but my inside voice continued all week, I took naps, time for myself and still it wouldn't quiet....my outside voice managed to behave, not a negative word or criticism was uttered in my husbands direction.

I shared this with some students and we all discussed the fact that female hormones play havoc with our minds and that thank God that as we have gotten, older, wiser and of course better, we have learned to not listen to the inside voice when it is negative.

We agreed that learning to keep our mouths shut and going out , was the best way to handle these times.

Today my inside voice calmed down, I packed all day, my loving daughter came home for the afternoon and I was able to give her some kitchen stuff, we had dinner as a family, and later I went out to meet long time friends who are very very positive.

I think my inside voice is either gone or sleeping I came home relaxed and happy.

Running to Freedom

Yesterday I woke up in a fog....my eyes felt heavy and even after 8 hours of sleep I felt like crawling back into bed. T

hursdays I work a long day, I start at 10 and get home around 10pm in the evening, I teach 3 classes and have private students....in between students I work on courses I am writing....

I also had a run on my schedule, my training for the marathon has started, albit slowly it is a 6 month training plan something that I can manage with my schedule....running seemed like the last thing I wanted to do...to add to my tiredness was the rain....it was dreary and wet....

The need to run kept popping in my head, part of running and training for an event is self discipline....getting over that mental hump and just getting out there.....I was struggling in my mind....

Around Dinner time I decided to go for it....just as I opened the door it started to pour...I sighed....my hair looked great and I still had 2 classes to teach...what to do.....I closed the door and just stood there, to run or not.....I decided to go, I grabbed an old t-shirt and wrapped it around my head...out I went....it stopped raining as hard and was just raining lightly.....my tiredness ached in my body....so I ran real slow....it was hard...then suddenly I hit this groove a very unexpected groove and the run became pleasureable...all the stress dropped off and I felt young free and started running a bit faster, I ditched the t-shirt hat becuase now I didn't care about my hair I was running for the love of running. I jumped puddles and knocked water off tree branches with my hands I was loving it...I could have run forever but had to go back to the studio to prepare.....

I felt great....at the studio I looked at my unmade up face and my wet (now curly) hair and thought I looked great...I left it that way for the night....

I am so grateful that I can run and that I overcame the obstacle course of my mind to get there...I needed that run

Food Today

Banana Wrap
Greek Salad
Protien Shake
Cereal
2 apples.

Have an awesome weekend.

Why my Crock Pot is about Love

Dream, Dream Big, Let your mind go and you will be amazed at where you end up.

Dinner is in the crock pot and I am doing laundry, there is a certain peace in quiet moments while doing housework. Sometimes just standing in the kitchen preparing veggies grounds me, and reconnects me with what's important.

I have been trying to feed my husband on a more regular basis, not that I feel obligated to do this, I want to do this to give back to him, he likes to be fed...with my schedule it is not always easy..hence the crock pot...so far I have made ribs, roast, stew, curried chicken, curried chickpeas with spinach and today I am making chicken caccitore in the crock pot, I work tonight but he will come home from the city to the smell of great food.

Yesterday I shared what I thought was a crazy dream with him and he totally supported me..I wonder where I would be with out his encouragement...sometimes he drives me crazy....too much advice, too much talking...too messy... my minds says..yak yak yak I think, then I get a reminder as to how much he has really supported me and I feel humbled.

He doesn't know about this Blog...so what is written on the Blog stays on the Blog LOL.

Breakfast - Ezekiel Raisin Toast with sugar free jam and cashew butter
Snack - Organic Apple (eating it now while I blog)
Lunch - Baked Squash, Turkey Sausage.
Dinner - Mango Protien Shake (working out and don't want heavy food in my stomach) or maybe a greek salad.
Snack - cereal with skim milk

If only I could sit a water spider on my face

I have some stuff coming up that makes me feel nervous, discussions, meetings etc... that I would rather hide from then deal with...but...part of being successful and/or being a grown-up is conquering fear...I have learned over the years that I must not let fears shut me down...I try to do this (not always successfully).

In fact while I was blogging this I stopped called my lawyer and asked for some advice on how to proceed....now back to fear...lots of things scare me....spiders scare the poop out of me...I was trying to brush a small one of the ceiling in my studio and it feel, I screamed and jumped to the other side...the spider was no bigger then my baby finger nail....a little silly I know...

Friday night in bed I was reading a yoga mag and the article was about dropping in to wheel pose backward from standing....yikes I thought...it suggested you start by walking down a wall with your hands into the back bend...Saturday I shared this fear and the article with some students....one offered to spot me...my heart started to race, who says yoga is not a cardio workout.....sweat came up on my brow...okay I said lets try. I was about a foot from the ground and I froze... I couldn't go any farther my mind was panicking....

Sunday I conquered a different very difficult pose, from headstand you drop your legs to a 90 degree angle and hold, it takes tremendous strength to hold this pose, but I manager to hold it for about a minutes...I was excited...another limit pused. I dared wheel again and this time walked all the way down the wall, I hestite partway down and then pushed past it.

My first yoga teacher used to tell me that once I got over fear in a posture that teh courage would manifest in other areas of my life....I look forward to this...maybe one day I will be able to let a water spider sit on my face for 30 seconds... eh Misty...
I am still feeling sick from the picture.

Food Today
Breakfast - peanut butter and jam on whole wheat....desperate for groceries.
Lunch - spinach salad with some grated feta and organic olive oil as a dressing
Beef tenderloin - 2 oz sauteed with mushrooms, carrot slivers, bean sprouts and soy sauce.
Dinner - protien shake, spinach salad
Snack - cereal

My Wild and Crazy Friday nights

When I was in my early teens I dreaded Friday nights, another weekend without a date sigh....heading back to school on Monday to report that nothing happened all weekend was such a drag...in my late teens I discovered bars, boys and drinking and then I lived for Friday nights...weekends were never dull. Later Friday nights were a rest from the week of work, a drink with my first husband and then to bed early to recover from the week. Later I looked forward to Friday nights because it meant the weekend with my kids...I loved hanging out with them on the weekends cooking and cycling and whatever else the weekend brought us. Sometimes Friday night meant the kids were going to their other parents and Frank and I would have a weekend for just the two of us.

So now I don't drink, my kids have left home and I work on weekends...what do I do on Friday nights ? I work out with Misty... oh yeah...small group training. I end the week with lunges, strength training and more fun then you could imagine..AB work. It gets better....I now also take Sanskrit lessons, so after my workout I meet with a small group of yoga teachers and learn the Sanskrit language...Hugh Peacock a local yoga teacher guided us tonight through the alphabet, and more. I have to admit it was interesting and fun...


OM
ASATOMA SADGAMAYA
TAMASOMA JYOTHIRGAMAYA
MRITHYORMA AMRUTANGAMAYA
OM SHANTI, SHANTI, SHANTI

Lead us from darkness to light
From ignorance to truth
And from death to eternity
Let peace prevail everywhere

Food today
Breakfast Sunflower toast with hazelnut better and sugar free jam
Lunch - Sushi rolls, miso soup
dinner - Omelet with spinach and grated cheese, used 2 eggs and 2 egg whites, sunflower toast with real butter, a little treat.
Snack - cereal with banana and skim milk

My Spinning Adventure

My Blogging has dropped off a bit because I am busy at the studio and moving so my time is a little scare...plus I decided I needed more personal exercise so I have added some spinning and Pilates to my workout. I am down one more lb making it a total of 8 lbs since I started the Blog.....not what I wanted but still 8 lbs less...from this point on my goal is 10 more lbs so that my goal total is 18lbs.....

I am not spinning wool, I am spinning my big body on a stationary bike in front of a cute 20 year old who keeps smiling at me and encouraging me on....this 20 something instructor has a waist about as big as my thigh and probably one of the cutest behinds I have ever seen. With her great smile and gorgeous face...just walking in the room is intimidating.

So around her is a semi circle of bikes and on these Bikes are women like me 40 and 50 something with a little extra padding on the seats (not our bike seats), she guides us to close our eyes and set our intention for the class, she flashes an amazing smile and encourages us to push hard when we can but to work within our limits....work hard but not too hard...

I look at her and smile....she doesn't know that I will be racing her the whole class....yes this old girl has some spirit in her still....with my kind smile I let her think I am nervous of the class.....I don't want her to know my intention is to kick her ass...then I watch her like a hawk....if she calls for a 1/2 turn I give it a 3/4 or full turn when her legs speed up I match or exceed her....my face gets bright red....sweat pours down the crack of my butt and my hair starts to get frizzy....she keeps smiling and never breaks a sweat...she takes us out of our seats....up hill we are going, sweat is flying everywhere on me....she still looks like a model....she smiles at me but doesn't realize I am winning...I have extra tension and my legs are going faster....my face is purple but that's okay...class is over she congratulates us on the hard work, not realizing that I have won....I tell her great class as I while the sweat drops off the bike....see you next week I say...

Food today....

Breakfast - Sunflower Toast, Cashew butter and sugar free jam.
Latte
Snack - cheese string
Lunch - cottage cheese, fruit salad with some hemp granola.
Snack - apple
Dinner - stuffed chicken, carrots, couscous.

Sometimes you just have to laugh at yourself

So after blogging about my butt a couple of days ago, that very night my friend Jocelyn, mentions that I have a great butt....she even noticed the new indents in the cheeks....I had to laugh....hopefully the compliments will start moving up my body.

So this morning my husband give me $500.00 to pay a bill...I take the cash and put it in a safe place just to forget where I put it....I search and search for the money...while I am searching I find a Pilates book I have been looking everywhere for...I feel great about the book but still can't find the money. I hop into the shower, in my mind I am retracing my steps this morning.

I can't find the book....I need the book for a course I am writing so after my shower I continue to search for the book and the money...

I give up and head to work in order to not be late, but a little worried about the money.
After teaching a class...I head home for lunch and another search....I find the book...whew...still no money...I decide to make a cheese sandwich....I pull out the cheese/meat drawer in the fridge...and find $500.00 in cash just sitting there....cold cash now LOL...I don't even remember opening that drawer today..then I notice that my husband has cooked bacon and must have been in the drawer twice, once to take the bacon out and the second time to put the bacon in....not noticing the money I have had him searching for.....

You just have to laugh at yourself sometimes.

Breakfast, Ezekiel English muffin and hazelnut butter.
Lunch - Toasted Cheese and lettuce sandwich lite may.
Snack 1 - Kasha Bar.....

The Butt that Misty Built

So this morning I pulled on a pair of jeans, and they are too big...not such a bad thing to find out....I now officially have fat jeans....I will wait a bit longer before I buy thin jeans, a belt will work for now....but one thing I noticed (sorry if this sounds too confident) is that my butt looks amazing in these jeans, I have on some high leather boots and my tush...looks high too.

This is the butt that Misty built....Misty will tell you that I suffered from the whine flu while I felt forced to do walking lunges down Pearle street, or squats with weights...I had many excuses why I should be excluded from this part of the workout...some of them were; I am too fat to do lunges, I am old enough to be your mother....would you make your mother do squats ???...I would always pray for the AB portion of the workout which seemed easier because I teach Pilate's....but I must say looking at how these jeans look this morning I am glad Misty laughed and encouraged me...and also mocked me a bit....the results are well worth the effort.

Food today

Breakfast - breakfast pita with hazelnut butter, latte with skim milk
Lunch - Vegetarian Chili
Dinner - Oxtail Soup
Snack cereal, I may also have a protein shake because I am spinning and running today.

The Ways Things Work Out

There is a saying in the Church crowd that God works in mysterious ways, while I am not a religious person, and certainly don't believe that there is this all knowing God granting blessings or punishments. I have seen things work out that seemed at one point impossible or things work out but having twists and turns.

I am not at all a fan of the The Secret, in fact, I internally scream when the movie is quoted to me. Manifesting our dreams it just not as easy as Secret Followers would have you believe...just manifest they say...just wave your f-ing magic wand and it will be yours...life is just not that easy and it is not meant to be . Success is is never instant or easy...hard work, self discipline, dreaming, persistence...these are just some of the qualities of success, not writing your wishes on a story board and waiting for them to happen. That's why I love runners, they know that in order to run that race or marathon, they need to do the do things, runners have amazing focus and self discipline...runners know that nobody can run the race for you, you have to cross that finish line yourself.

Robin Sharma says you have to be willing to sacrifice all to get what you want...

My husband and I have done that, we have followed our inner dreams and both have gone after what we really wanted to do in life...it at times has been painful...sometimes joyful...we have doubted ourselves and we have fought...we have laughed at ourselves and built each other up when the other needed it...thank god we have both not crashed at the same time. We didn't count on a recession while chasing our dreams....

When I think of the past few months I think about how grateful I am for the way things turned out...first I got vertigo....it was extremely difficult and I had to take time off work...but I got to sit at the edge of my pool every day and watch my grandkids play...I got to spend time with my daughter in-law and today I feel much closer to them.

Then my house took a long time to sell, but looking back I was glad it didn't sell until now, the summer with my grandkids was worth the wait..as well we had an amazing Thanksgiving dinner...our last in this house but I knew that at the time...life will change now and I am ready for it.

Those are just some of the things that happened this year that have been "little blessings" ...I could go on and on.

But in the end it has been a good year, I have made really good friends and been supported by some amazing people.

My special thanks go Misty, Annalise, Kyla, Brian, Andrea and Lianne, and my Father....who were there for Frank and I in so many ways.


Food Today

Breakfast - cottage cheese with fruit and granola
Lunch - Vegetarian Chilli with grated cheese.
Nap...long one and maybe a bowl of cereal.
Dinner - I have a pot roast in the crock pot ...not sure if I want red meat 2 days in a row, so may have a great salad or some chilli on lettuce with grated cheese and salsa...a virtually fat free taco salad.