I thought about this all day, thinking about how true this really is. It's really all I have ever wanted. I wanted to matter to my parents, I wanted them to love me. I wanted to matter to teachers and later to employers. I wanted to matter to my husbands (1 and 2) and I wanted matter to my kids and my customers.
In fact, if I were to be honest, mattering to people is what drove me for years, and maybe still does but in a much smaller way, because today I know that I matter. For years I wanted for my husband to appreciate all that I did, that I worked, raised children, made halloweem costuerms when we were too broke to buy them. Pulled together great meals after a long day at the office, did laundry and more. Of course he was doing stuff too, but I was self focused and couldn't really us as a partnership with me doing my share and him doing his part.
I thought was I did was a sacrifice. I couldn't see all that I gave, came back to me full fold.
Somewhere in my life I stopped looking for thanks, I and started to receive it unconditionally and in so many ways
When my daughter texts me for a suhsi lunch date.
When my husband looks at me with love in his eyes.
When a student sends me an email or drops off a plant.
When my grandchildren run to me and jump in my arms.
A call from my Dad.
A invite to lunch from my Mom.
A facebook message from my sisters.
The coffee my husband brings me first thing in the morning.
A thank you note from a teacher I hired.
A hug from a friend.
The endless support I have been offered since my husband became ill.
It seems I matter alot, and it is in giving that we recieve.
I bet you matter a lot too, I bet that underneath your fears and insecurities, and sometimes your own clouds of selfishness, that there are people who think you are amazing and show it in little ways.Life can be stressful at times and it is often in these times that we doubt our very reason for being here. But trust me, you are part of a bigger plan and you matter.
With Love,
Sheree xo
