I believe that the hardest word for most women to say is thanks. A simple thank you without an explanation, a comparison and/or an apology.I work with women, women are my customers, and my friends. I love women. Because of this I have had to instill a rule in my yoga studio, this rule is that if someone compliments you in the studio you just say thanks. It seems simple. Yet it is very hard. There is an deep uncomfortableness with this word, when it comes to receiving compliments.
I've thought quite abit about this and I don't think it come from humility. Humility is a great character trait. I believe it comes from the deep seeded thought that we are not perfect unless our bodies are perfect and that we don't really deserve the good things that come our way. We set ourselves up for failure time and time again by comparing ourselves to the pictures we see of women who are built differently then we are. I for one love the diversity of women's bodies.
A little thing about women (that is known) is we are never satisfied with our looks, if we have curly hair we want straight hair, if we have small breasts we want large ones and vice versa. The "grass is always greener" seems to be our mantra. I too am guilty of this as I flat iron my naturally wavy hair.
We blame magazines and Hollywood for setting standards that seem impossible to reach, yet we continue to watch the movies and buy the magazines. If we know that the media is the culprit then why do we not make a choice to not support them. I believe it's deeper than Hollywood. The media certainly plays into our fears that we are not good enough, but I don't think they create them.
I believe the problem is in our own minds, we create a mental hell for ourselves then we look around at those we perceive to have what we want and solidify our belief that we are not good enough. The truth lies in the fact that we are not happy, we feel disconnected, maybe even lonely at times and we think the perfect body will bring us happiness. We think that if we lose 10 more lbs, all will be well.
The answer then can only come from self reflection, yoga, meditation, journaling, sitting quietly, prayer, even talking with a coach or therapist. The answer has to be getting to know who and what you are and why you are here. I have been underweight and overweight and neither made me happy, in fact I remember being my unhappiest ever, when I was very thin.
I only found happiness as I set myself free from the bonds of my mental dilemma, and worked on releasing things such as envy, self loathing, and even jealousy. As I got to know myself I began to cast off blatant, and not so blatant mind patterns that were literally creating hell in my mind and separating me from other women. I began to see and accept the goodness in me and I began to feel better about my outside. So working on my inside led to me embracing my outside.
Today I love my body, I feel amazing, and well I have a disconnected day here or there, mostly I feel very much in union with the world around me.
So next time someone tells you that you look great, say thanks, because you do look great. Know that you are perfect as you are, because deep inside you is a little pieces of the divine. Don't put your life on hold waiting for the perceived perfect body, hair or life. Get out there and create the life you have always wanted.
