Welcome to life, it has it's up, downs and plateaus and it's not been easy for anyone. You are not alone in your struggles and that is so important to know.When you are young life is about the next thing on your to-do list, you finish school, get a Masters Degree, get a job, get married etc....life is about the next accomplishment. But soon life settles down, you are married, you have a job and you have kids and yet there is an empty feeling, a sense that there has to be more to life than this. For a while that empty feeling may be fed with a new car or holiday, you can redecorate a room in your house, and yet in those quiet moments, you still feel unsatisfied.
To me this is the blessing stage of your life, the chance to discover who you really are. It generally hits you around 40 but it could be earlier or a little later, but it will hit. For some it hits like a tsunami, these people rebel and we commonly call this a mid-life crisis. For others it is simply the dull ache of discontent. You can look around and see all you have, feel a degree of happiness but there is still an unsettled feeling.
So begins the second stage of your life, finding your Dharma (your reason for being here) ? What was I meant to do ? What am I passionate about ? I believe this second stage is about feeding your soul by finding what you are passionate about and doing it. Some are lucky to find it young, perhaps they are old souls. But most of us experience it later in life. Look to your childhood for some of the answers, what did you love to do ? Run, paint, write stories ? It doesn't have to mean drastic changes it could be just reconnecting with an old hobby or setting some personal goals. Maybe it's about reconnecting with your spiritual side.
Without a spiritual connection to the divine, happiness eludes many people, the symptoms of this include depression, loneliness, low energy and lack of enthusiasm. For me yoga provides some of this connection but I also need spiritual people, people on a higher path, whom I can trust and who allow me to let down my mask and be real.
I love being real with people, it is just a more satisfying connection. There are maybe 3 people, I am completely emotionally naked with and this makes me rich in friends. I also believe in God, years ago I stopped trying to define God and have allowed god to gently reveal himself to me.
You may think I have drifted from my point, but I haven't. Living your passion, finding your god, and trying to live by spiritual principles will change your entire outlook on life. Just watch your passion and energy grow.
Find the time you need, it is there, give up on your excuses, get up early, watch less TV, give up those time wasters, hire a cleaning company. Create a special time just for yourself. In yoga we call this practice, sadhana , a holy or quiet time dedicated to connecting with yourself. Read positive books, go for a run or a walk, do yoga, or sit quietly and meditate, do this alone and the universe will reveal to you all that is has planned for you in it's own time.
Last week my spiritual director told me that life was about courage. Making changes takes courage. My wish for you is that you have the courage to be happy, to seek the advice, make the choices and to risk the risks that will bring true happiness to your life.
My wish for myself is that I have the courage it takes to follow my heart, one more time. I wonder why if always feels so scary, like walking a tightrope in the dark. I know Gods hand will always there, yet I still doubt.
I leave you with this quote, this quote profoundly affected my life many years ago.
“It takes courage...to endure the sharp pains of self discovery rather
than choose to take the dull pain of unconsciousness that would last the
rest of our lives.”
