Some ramblings on Acceptence

Many years ago I had a mentor, who used to tell me that the key to happiness was acceptance. Accepting people and situations for what and who they really were. She would tell me over and over again that I needed to accept people for who they were. She often sounded  like a broken record. Could I always be in the wrong ? Was I always my problem ? And yes most of the time I was wrong, I was a serious whiner back then.

Acceptance can be confusing. At that  time in  my life I was married to my first husband and  I wasn't happy. I thought that to accept  my husband for who he was meant I would have to stay married to him.  But I was wrong, acceptance meant that I took a long hard look at the marriage for what it really was, I had to accept myself for who I was and accept my ex-husband for who he was. When I accepted all these things I made the tough decision  to separate. So acceptance was not some sort of prison. it was actually freedom.

This may seem like a weird Christmas message but I really think it's an important one. I love my family I just  feel at peace being around them and I hope they enjoy me too. Many families don't have this, Christmas can be a tense time where families come together out of duty but don't really want to be there. I hate to leave, I prolong leaving as long as I can.

I think family is important, I love that my family accepts me for who I am and the choices I have made. In fact they are really quite good at this.

I have a very blended family, divorces have brought us step kids, step grandchildren,  step mothers, step fathers. I am my husbands third wife, I have been married twice, together we have 6 children, I had a daughter with my first husband and my husband had children with both his ex wives. We have been together now 15 years. My parents are divorced and both remarried, my father is now a widow and is dating my friend. On the outside we would seem like a great reality show. Heading the entire family is my 92 year old grandmother who was married to my grandfather for over 60 years, she is kind of like queen Elisabeth, stable and unchanging. Yet my grandmother amazes me as she accepts  as gay  family members "come out" and marry, and other family members divorce and remarry.

Can we take the unique quilt called our family and appreciate it for it's beauty, even if some of the stitches are crooked ?

There is a lot of love in my family so I guess in the end family does not have to be related by blood but by be love and acceptance.

So tonight I dedicate this blog to my Mom, whom I love. Who now joins us at my Dad's place on Christmas day so that now my siblings and I can spend Christmas with both our parents. What a joy it is to be able to share this sacred family day with both my parents.