On Being 50 Soon

Seems like these days many of my friends are younger than me, actually quite a bit younger...so I have begun to feel like it may be my duty share with them what to expect when you start getting close to 50.

1) Random face hairs appear....not just on your chin and mustache, weird thick hairs that start to grow out of your nose, cheeks and neck...and generally because you need glasses for the fine print you don't see them until you are in the car and without your tweezers...meaning you are spending the rest of the day wondering how many people are watching them vibrate as you speak.

2) 10:00pm is late...chin dropping, tongue hanging out in front of the TV....late

3) cellulite is not just limited to your bottom and thighs over the years it creeps out towards your ankles and arms...if you are as lucky as I am, your younger friends swear that they can't see it (thanks Misty).

4) sex....while sex is still great...when you want it....and when you can stay up late enough to have it and when all your facial hairs have been removed

5) being told you look good for your age starts to feel okay...the first time it happens it is a shocker, you want to scream what age ? Its like the first time the kid at the meat counter called you Mame and you looked behind you to see if your mother was standing there.

6) I recently had someone describe a friend of mine as an older woman....I thought HEY she is the same age as me.

7) you really REALLY start to look like your parents.... I am a blend of both my parents...my fathers legs...my Mom's..(not saying she reads my Blog).

8) everyone starts to look young to you...you wonder if all those Moms in the grocery store are really old enough to have kids....you wonder if you looked that young when your kids were born.

9) 60+ year old men start to flirt with you and you flirt back....okay maybe not you but I have a "thing" for older men love them.....I married one actually

10) age spots start to crowd out the freckles......

11) everything you do shows on your face the next day...sigh your period of "bounce back" grace is well gone.

12) you start to emphasize with turkeys as you watch you neck resemble one...sigh...

13) and weird but true while all this is happening you thank God you are not 30 or 40 any more