People like us

“People like us we’ve got to stick together, hold your head up, nothing lasts forever”.

Sung by Kelly Clarkson

Written by

Meghan Kabir, James Michael, Blair Daly

I just recently heard this song and felt an instant connection to the lyrics. I would imagine a lot of people do. It reminded me my childhood and how I really struggled to fit in. I felt lonely as a child. So lonely in fact that I became convinced that I must have been adopted. I felt my parents were aliens or at the very least I felt alienated from them. Over and over again I would search their bedroom looking for my adoption papers, never to find them. I would sit at the dinner table silently thinking “who are these people”?  I learned to adapt and deal with these feelings of isolation by faking things. I kind of lived like Dexter saying and doing what was right but secretly feeling like the words were empty and wondering what all the fuss was about.

 I think a lot of people feel like they don’t fit in at some point in their life, for me it was my younger years, but some people grow old feeling this way, or have a period in their life when this occurs, often it occurs during a job you really dislike. Just for the record, I no longer feel this way, I feel connected and loved and truly blessed by the many caring people I have in my life.

Maybe you are feeling this way now and if you are, you are not alone, countless people are feeling it too, but they are hiding it from you. People hide their disconnect in a variety of ways, many become overachievers, some give up, others accumulate things, some become difficult or angry people, others compensate by becoming caretakers to others, doing more for others then they do for themselves.

We hide from people because we don’t feel safe. Secretly we are afraid that people will find out we not perfect? Truthfully no one thinks you are perfect anyways, so giving up that illusion is a great step towards freedom, we see your faults and love you anyways.

 I am not naive I know we can’t truly let our walls down with everyone, but I think we need to step out from behind the walls, with some people.  I have a very small, very intimate circle of maybe 4 friends that I am completely open with, I love them, I know they love me and I feel safe in this love.  You need this too, friends who you can trust, who love you, who don’t see you as perfect but don’t really give a shit anyways. And as the song goes “people like us we’ve got to stick together”, so be that kind of friend back.

We all have a story, I have mine you have yours, and somewhere in this story we have  all experienced deep pain. An abusive childhood, the death of a parent(s) or loved ones, accidents that have left us dependent, spouses have cheated on us, the list goes on (insert your pain here). So with this in mind I think it’s important that we treat each other with greater compassion, in all situations, try to step into the other person’s shoes and look at life from their perspective. 

I know a man that hit his kids; he was an abusive father and husband. His words and fists caused great pain and damage to his family. No one could understand why this man was like this, by all outward experiences he was smart, handsome, and successful, yet he had this darkness within. Years later, he sought help and he shared with me his story. How, as child his angry father had beaten him, his siblings, and his mother. How, as a little boy he had hid in the barn for days without food, waiting for his father’s rage to subside. How he swore he would never do to his family what had happened to him, and the shame and sorrow he felt when he realized he had become his father. He lives to this day still trying to forgive himself; he is now a loving father and grandfather. He has not been forgiven by all he harmed and he lives with this knowledge. He also has seen the damage in his children, the seeds of darkness planted from one generation to the next. 

I know a woman who was a nun, left the convent, lived on the streets or Toronto, doing whatever it took to get by. Who today stands as an example of hope released from darkness, she helps others by sharing her story. There was a time when people walked over her, past her, and thought her worthless. Today she travels the world bringing rays of hope to others. These are stories of redemption but not everyone finds redemption in this life.

If I could be you, if you could be me
For just one hour
If we could find a way to get inside
Each other's mind

Elvis Presley

Where does yoga fit into all this? Each and every thing I have experienced has left an impression (samskara) on my subconscious mind these impressions cloud my thinking and often limit my life. I always compare samskaras to documents on your hard drive, you’ve deleted the file from the directory (conscious mind) and you think they are gone, but they are still there on your hard drive (subconscious mind) taking up space. So my past forms my current thinking. It’s so important then to look at the past examine it and then let it go. This happens during my consistent yoga and meditation practice, memories just float to the surface, and as they do I am able to see them, examine them, let them go, not judging them as good or bad, but rather seeing how they have affected my life.

While we can hate the actions of another person, it is best not to hate the person, hatred in the end is like an disease that eats away at us.

My wish for you is that if this is one of the times in your life that you are struggling, feeling alone, or just wondering if there is more to life, that you will realise you are not alone, we have all been there.

So I end this blog to a link to one of my favorite songs by the band Everlast, the song is called; What It’s Like. The song is full of coarse words so if this offends you don’t listen.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nlF1qnhmq28