How much should you weigh ?

This week I was thinking about the unrealistic weight goals so many people set for themselves, generally if I ask someone what they would like to weigh ( I rarely ask this question). they suggest a number from their teens, most often high school.

Let’s talk about high school, was it so great? Was that the best time in your life? I liked high school okay, I had friends, I was in a few clubs, high school was okay from that standpoint. But it was also one of the most difficult periods of my emotional  life, I was insecure, had pimples, had crushes on boys that never looked my way and generally was confused most of the time. But, yes I was thinner. I am way happier now.

I have been over and underweight in my life and let me assure you, my happiness was not connected to my weight. In fact, some of my most unhappy times were when I was thin; back then I starved, obsessed about my weight and generally always felt fat. In my early 20’s I was super thin and I had this pretty serious boyfriend and I don’t think he ever say me fully naked, at least not in the light/ Maybe if he squinted in the dark he saw me. I was never happy with how I looked and I always focused on the external, losing weight, buying clothes, changing make up or hair styles, or even jobs.

I believe that most people are searching for happiness ( I was), not thinness; yes sometimes we need to lose weight and change our eating habits to be healthier and to avoid the diseases of wealthy societies (heart disease, diabetes, and some cancers). But truthfully most of us equate thinness with happiness.

Some people are naturally thin, my daughter is like, that she has a great metabolism and has a healthy relationship with food, she eats junk here and there, but also rarely eats when she is not hungry. Do you know that people make fun of her? They call her skinny and want to know what she eats, they ask her what size she wears and make other comments, and this is reverse discrimination.

Let me ask you this? Is 12% body fat really going to make you happy? No, it’s not, maybe temporarily you will feel elated, but soon it will pass and you will want less body fat or because you had to diet to get there, the body fat will start creeping back on, and you will feel frustrated and perhaps even shame. I call this the shame roller coaster ride of weight loss and then weight gain, its giddy at times but the lows can be quit hard.

Every day on Facebook I see ads for fat loss and fat burners, and you what? I like some of my fat, yes; I love and embrace my curves. Without seeming conceited, I have a great butt, curvy, firm, and I rock a pair of jeans. Even at my age I get comments on my derriere from both men and women LOL. I for one want to keep my natural curves, and if that means some fat on my body, then I want fat on my body. Let’s remove the stigma around that word fat. Let’s focus on a healthy body fat level, for women’s it’s around 22 to 25 % and leave the fat burners, starvation diets, and crazy workouts, to the models and actresses, or those people who make their living by their looks.

So where does yoga fit into all this? Many people come to yoga to get fit and that’s okay, but for me yoga is a spiritual practice, and I look to its philosophy for guidance. Yoga philosophy tells me that I need to seek contentment (santosha), and that true contentment/satisfaction can only come going inside and connecting to the divine inside me, I know it may sound corny but contentment is there, deep inside you there is a pilot light (spark of the divine) and you just have to turn it on, feed it positive energy and soon you will be burning brighter and brighter, this inner piece of the divine will always soothe you, make you feel loved and help you feel connected.

Overeating is a dis-connect, between your body, mind and soul, it’s about filling that restless feeling with food and it never works, that restlessness is a like a voracious monster that will eat anything in its sight but soon leave you feeling empty again. Trust me, I have tried many time, but you can’t fill that emptiness with food, it has to come from the connection within, that’s another reason why so many diets fail, they are lonely, isolate you from eating the same foods as your family and don’t really deal with the underlying issues. Are you happy, are you content and can you see the beauty of your life?

So…. how much should you weigh ? Forget about high school, you were a kid. Think about these things, a healthy body fat level (22 to 25%), a weight that is sustainable with a normal amount of exercise, a weight that you can maintain without feeling like you are starving. Your body has a set point, mine does, if I force myself to go below this point, I find it hard to maintain. So tune in, find your bodies set point, avoid stuffing food into that voracious monster when you are not hungry and enjoy some freedom around food, it is not your enemy it is your friend, an energy we need.

Here are some guidelines I follow;

I rarely eat until I am stuffed, I hate that feeling.

I avoid late night eating, I like to detox and heal while I sleep. However if I have worked out late I will eat as my body needs food to heal.

I try to eat only foods with  ingredients that I can pronounce. 

I cook from scratch, I love creating yummy dishes in my kitchen.

I try to identify with what I am feeling and not let my emotions control me.

I practice yoga and meditation, Ssometimes I journal, but more often I talk things through with my spiritual director.

I speak my needs.

I avoid foods that trigger binges, for me, its Pringles Potato chips, vanilla ice cream and fresh crusty white bread and butter. Maybe some of you can eat these in moderation but I can’t. I have tried and I have failed enough times that I know myself.

I get lots of sleep, if I stay up late I feel tired the next day and then use food to boost my energy. I go to bed around 10:15 each night and try to get a short nap in 3 or 4 times a week.

My favorite and for sure the one I get the most comments on is this one. Look at yourself naked in the mirror every day and tell  yourself out loud how gorgeous you are. It works, I still do it. If I find myself looking at stretch marks or cellulite I repeat the above.

For a copy of one of my Pockets Guides to Happiness or Sustainable Weight loss, email me sheree@livewithspirit.ca