Life is messy, I am imperfect (so are you), and you know what?
There is never going to be the perfect time to get started on making those
changes, or setting those goals. Your mind (the ego) will always tell you to wait
until this or that happens, to make changes, to begin to follow your dream. Your “monkey mind” keeps inventing excuses as to
why now, is not good a good time to make changes. So…once again to quote Nike, “just
do it”. Your mind should serve you not vice versa. Just today I was telling my
husband that it sometimes seems like more than half my thoughts make no sense,
so I am constantly ignoring, overcoming and laughing at my random thoughts.
I love Robin Sharma, I read something he wrote almost every
day. To quote Robin, change is messy, it can be chaos in the beginning, but
eventually the changes you make today will become your future normal. 15 years
ago I was a pack a day smoker and I didn’t exercise at all. Today I own a yoga
and fitness studio and a day without some sort of exercise feels like something
is missing.
Expect extreme chaos, doubt, feelings of insecurity, a sense
of not being good enough, all of these will surface, but keep going, change is
awesome. In my life I have felt, I was
too old, too fat, not educated enough, not good enough, not attractive enough,
not smart enough etc… I have worried that my past was too difficult to
overcome and that I would never feel like more than a misfit in the crazy world.
At times these thoughts seemed like insurmountable mountains, but they were
not, each step I took showed me that these mirage like thoughts were not real. There
is an old Indian proverb it goes something like this; how do you eat an elephant?
One bite at a time. This proverb to me means that when something seems too
large to overcome, you just need to take little bites at a time.
Change makes you stronger, gives you great insight into
yourself and opens your mind to new ways of thinking. Change is expansive. I know an organization that makes their
employees change their positions within the company every 2 years, this must be
chaos at times, but what it does is allow each employee to grow, empathize and ultimately
creates a team environment where no one person has control. Here is a quote I first read years ago, I use
it sometimes when I feel doubt, or when I am making changes.
“It takes courage...to endure the sharp pains of self discovery rather
than choose to take the dull pain of unconsciousness that would last the rest
of our lives.”
― Marianne Williamson, Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of
"A Course in Miracles"
I love this quote because change is self discovery and
honest self knowledge is freedom. Inside all of us are these prison bars I will
call fears, these fears seem so real to us but they are not real, they are simply self imposed bars that keep us from reaching our true potential.
What if I try and I fail, what will people think? What will happen to
me?
I have failed often in my life; not reached a goal, not
gotten a relationship I wanted. In my business not all my ideas have worked
out. I was fired once, I have suffered depression and I have been divorced.
Some of these were huge disappointments to me at the time. But looking back I
can see them as door ways to freedom through self discovery. I have often read that one of the keys to
success is your ability to make fast decisions, good or bad, and then to move
on from the ones that don’t work out. In others words, pick yourself up, dust
yourself off and keep trying. If you had seen my epic fall last year in the
Haliburton Forest trail race last September, you would have seen me, slip on
the mud, land on my back, roll to my knees, look for blood and then keep going.
Last week I said to someone I was glad a serious of events
occurred in my first marriage, because these events forced me to change. I
could have stayed it that marriage, we didn’t fight very much, it was comfortable,
but I wasn’t in love any more, truthfully I felt dread in that marriage, dread
is an awful sensation that we are not meant to live with. Taking the risk of
leaving my first marriage was super scary, I feared loss of income, loneliness,
and I wondered if I was ever going to be married again. I wasn’t sure I would be
able to take care of myself. But I took that leap into the unknown and today
feel like I am married to my best friend. Just 2 weeks ago I was driving along
Rossland Road and I saw my ex-husband walking along the street holding hands
with his current wife. It made me so happy to see him obviously content,
looking great with a woman that loves him.
About 20 years ago my older sister told me she wanted to go
back to school to study theology. Both her and her husband went to bible
college full time, while raising 2 young children, she graduated with honors
and was class valedictorian, her house was sometimes messy, and it was hard at
time. But today, she is senior minster in a church. She is gifted at what she
does, and helps so many people. What if she had said not now, I am too busy, my
kids are too young, I think I will wait. Maybe just maybe she would have missed
her calling in life.
A woman I know lost about 100lbs; she was in her late 50’s
at the time. Then she left a 35 year marriage, her husband was an alcoholic,
she then moved in with her daughter, and went back to school full time to be a psychologist.
She was easily 61 at the time she enrolled in school. Today she is happily
remarried (to a great guy) and working in her chosen field. Some people thought
she was insane. Who leaves a 35 year marriage for the unknown? She did, because
deep down she listened to the quiet voice that told her that there was more to
life than what she was experiencing. Was it easy? Hell no, it was messy and at
times emotional but she took baby steps forward and followed her heart.
Sometimes you just need to have faith and trust your intuition.
A lot of the time we are waiting for other people to change,
thinking this will make us happy. This is a snow white complex, we think one
day, someone will save us and we will then live happily ever after. Trust me, I
have thought this way, if only my partner would do this or that, then I will be
happy. But this disordered thinking, leads to bitterness and lack of responsibility
for our lives. More and more these days I see how my destiny has a lot to do
with the choices I make, blaming my misery on other people is a cop out. In my
past I have blamed society, my parents, my husband, and even bosses for my
discontent, then slowly I came to realize that the one common thread that all
these people shared was me, I was the problem, my thinking was askew and needed
to change.
So I guess to conclude I am trying to say change doesn’t
have to be big, it can be as simple as enrolling in that art class you have been
thinking about, it can be hopping on a spin bike to start your weight loss
journey or it can be getting up a little earlier each day to meditate. Small
consistent changes are the key to great success. Years from now you will look
back and see you have come so far.
With Love,
Sheree xo
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