I have a student (who will remain anonymous) who I chastised
recently for how she dresses. You may think this rude but let me assure you I did
it in a very kind way. The problem is her clothes are too large for her; she
buys the size up because she has put on weight. She used to wear a small, now
she should wear a medium but instead buys a size large and her clothes hang off
her. You may think there is nothing wrong with this but here are my thoughts. I
believe that there is a disconnect between her mind and her body. She thinks
she is larger then she really is and needs to reconnect with herself. She is
gorgeous, full of life, great energy and has a larger than life personality,
and doesn’t really see it. She hides behind these ill fitting clothes, ashamed of
her body.
What I really want is for her to come to is a place where
she dresses how she wants too, no matter what her weight and size.
Buy the fabulous clothes now, don’t wait to lose weight,
life does not have to stop while you reach your goals. You know what? If you
lose weight you can always have them altered, I have had tons of clothes that I
loved, made smaller.
Does size really matter? Not really. Happiness is and always
will be an inside job. What’s happening in your head is what matters, I have been
overweight and underweight in my life and neither has contributed to my lasting
happiness.
My weight fluctuates up and down about 6lbs, depends on the
time of the month, moon days, god know what affects it sometimes its water retention.
If I based my happiness on my weight I would be sad quite often. Even my size
is not consistent, generally I wear a size 8 but manufactures differ, so
sometimes a size 8 is too big or too small. Also my weight differs by scale,
yep, I weigh more on my trainers scale then I do on my scale. Obviously my
scale rocks.
You know that little square thing with numbers (your scale) it
will never be the source of happiness?
I can step off a scale being thrilled with my weight and
then walk into a room and criticize my husband, leading to a fight that leaves both
of us feeling bad for awhile. I can be within my “goal” weight range and be a
disaster to work with, hard on people, critical and unyielding, therefore causing
I and the people around me to feel unsettled. So is my scale truly the source of happiness? No
its not. We think we will be happy when we weigh a certain amount, and briefly
(very briefly) we will feel elated, but this is not happiness.
Happiness is never with us 100% of the time; unless I guess
we reach Samadhi (bliss). For me happiness comes and goes. Generally I am
happy, I have a good life and good relationships in it. At times I become
discontent and when I feel this way I try to figure out what is happening in my
life, generally it boils down to accepting someone or some situation as meant
to be, even if it means accepting myself for who I am.
This morning I read a great blog written by a photographer,
in her blog she wrote about people (primarily women) not getting pictures taken
because they believe themselves to be too overweight. She wrote about how sad
this is because years later you will look back at the pictures fondly as
memories of great times, and others will look at the pictures as keep sakes of
those they love. No one will even think about your weight. People love you,
they don’t love your body they love your soul.
Have you ever been asked to pose for a picture and grabbed
one or all of your children and pulled them in front of you to hide your body? Or,
gone to the back of a group because you thought you were fat? I have. I have
also torn up and/or deleted pictures of myself that I hated. Back in the days
of getting prints from film, I would rush to the photo shop to get the pictures
first, so I could tear up the “bad” ones. I remember being furious at my step
mother for putting what I thought were hideous pictures of me in a photo album.
The shame I have felt over my body weight was debilitating
at times, a prison that kept my true nature (love) from shining.
Today I still struggle with self image to a small degree,
but I don’t allow my thoughts, which can be random and crazy, control me, no
matter what I get up and look in the mirror I tell myself how great I look, I
dress to be attractive (in case the paparazzi are following me LOL) and I do
what I want. I refuse to let weight, age or my monkey mind dictate my life. I
take yoga classes with women who are ½ my age, and a lot thinner, if I find
myself comparing I close my eyes, slow down my breath and allow myself to
connect to my deeper layers. I admire their beauty, bless them and thank god I
am no longer young. Being in my 50’s rocks, with age and my Sadhana
(daily spiritual practice) I have come to a place that I really like. A bit
more self confidence, some peace of mind, and deep gratitude for the many
amazing relationships that I have.
So I guess what I am saying is, let yourself shine, stop
thinking you are your body, feed it well, exercise it but it is no different
than your car, a temporary vehicle that you need to keep in good repair, your
body serves you not vice versa. Remember
you are more than your body. You are a speck of the divine. People love you
deeply, some think you are amazing, your kids think you are a goddess and your
husband does too.
Here was my mornings Sadhana it changes a bit each
day but I hope this helps.
Read and journaled about a few of the yoga Sutras.
Listened to Arnold’s, 6 laws to success (my trainer
recommended this).
Went for a walk (it’s amazing out)
Listened to a few chapters of an audio book (The Art of War)
that a student recommended.
Yesterday morning I read some of the yoga sutras, and then
went to a yoga class.
For a copy of my Happiness Pocket Guide email me at sheree@livewithspirit.ca
With Love,
Sheree xo
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