The Hardest Word to Say

I believe that the hardest word for most women to say is thanks. A simple thank you without an explanation, a comparison and/or an apology.

I work with women, women are my customers, and my friends. I love women. Because of this I have had to instill a rule in my yoga studio, this  rule is that if someone compliments you in the studio you just say thanks. It seems simple. Yet it is very hard. There is an deep uncomfortableness with this word, when it comes to receiving compliments.

I've thought quite abit about  this and I don't think it come from humility. Humility is a great character trait. I believe it comes from the deep seeded thought that we are not perfect unless our bodies are perfect and that we don't really deserve the good things that come our way.  We set ourselves up for failure time and time again by comparing ourselves to the pictures we see of women who are built differently then we are. I for one love the diversity of women's bodies.

A little thing about women (that is known) is we are never satisfied with our looks, if we have curly hair we want straight hair, if we have small breasts we want large ones and vice versa. The "grass is always greener" seems to be our mantra. I too am guilty of this as I flat iron my naturally wavy hair.

We blame magazines and Hollywood for setting standards that seem impossible to reach, yet we continue to watch the movies and buy the magazines. If we know that the media is the culprit then why do we not make a choice to not support them. I believe  it's deeper than Hollywood. The media certainly plays into our fears that we are not good enough, but I don't think they create them.

I believe the problem is in our own minds, we create a mental hell  for ourselves then we look around at those we perceive to have what we want and solidify our belief that we are not good enough. The truth lies in the fact that we are not happy, we feel disconnected, maybe even lonely at times and we think the perfect body will bring us happiness. We think that if we lose 10 more lbs, all will be well.

The answer then can only come from self reflection, yoga, meditation, journaling, sitting quietly, prayer, even talking with a coach or therapist. The answer has to be getting to know who and what you are and why you are here.  I  have been underweight and overweight and neither made me happy, in fact I remember being my unhappiest ever, when I was very thin.

 I only found happiness as I set myself free from the bonds of my mental dilemma, and worked on releasing things such as envy, self loathing, and even jealousy. As I got to know myself I began to cast off blatant, and not so blatant mind patterns that were literally creating hell in my mind and separating me from other women. I began to see and accept the goodness in me and I began to feel better about my outside. So working on my inside led to me embracing my outside.

Today I love my body, I feel amazing, and well I have a disconnected day here or there, mostly I feel very much in union with the world around me.

So next time someone tells you that  you look great, say thanks, because you do look great. Know that you are perfect as you are, because deep inside you is a little pieces of the divine. Don't put your life on hold waiting for the perceived perfect body, hair or life. Get out there and create the life you have always wanted.

This and That

I was teaching yoga the other day and a song on my playlist jumped out at me (or at least some of the words did). The words went something like this; embrace your anger, your lust and your greed, and then the words went on to explain that we can only release the things we accept that we have.  Listening to those lyrics, I felt in that moment, like time stood still.  I was reminded that the truth about yourself shall begin to set you free.

One of the things my spiritual director often says to me is that I really  know myself, the good and the ugly (I am not to keen on the word bad), because truly we are all a mixture of this and that. You can be a great person, doing amazing things but you still have defects of characters, or bits of darkness. We are human after all. When I call my spiritual director it’s to address how things like pride, or attachment or ambition are affecting my life, especially my relationships. I have to first admit that I have those character traits, and only then can start to let them go. 

Tonight I went to a ceremony for a man I have always judged for some past mistakes he made. But listening to people honor how much he has helped them and what kind of great friend he has been, made me realize, I had viewed him as one dimensional. When in fact, he too is a mixture of this and that. Driving home I said to my husband how ashamed I am of my judgmental thoughts towards this man and how I need to be careful of this kind of thinking. So by accepting that I can be judgmental ultimately sets me free to start to release this behavior. I am grateful for that insight about myself tonight and will make it a point to get to know this man better.

In every situation we come at the world with a mind clouded from our past, in Yoga we called these past impressions on our mind Samskaras,  which is a Hindu concept of imprints left on the subconscious mind by experience.  Samskaras prevent us from keeping an open mind. Yoga helps to release these subsocious imprints, much like deleting a hidden file from a hard drive and we can then experience new ways of thinking, release Karma, and be present not judging things based on outdated thinking and past experiences.

Maybe during my yoga practice today, I was able to release something that ultimately helped me see my judgment of this man. Whatever happened one more time I am grateful that I went to my mat with an open mind and have been able to feel better connected with another human being.

Does this mean I will never judge another person, sadly no, but at least, I have chipped away at some of my darkness and the rays of light can shine a little brighter.

With Love

Sheree xo

Why Running Keeps me Sane (Somewhat)

I have been a runner for about 15 years now, I started running shortly after a separation from my first husband. I just felt like I needed to run, I had no plans to run, one day I was walking my dog and I started running, just like that. Day after day when I walked my dog I ran a little bit. It was like my body wanted to run and had taken control of my mind. In so many ways I was grieving the loss of my dream and being lead unknowingly to my future.

At first I ran at night so no one would see me, I was afraid people would laugh. I  used to run on this small path close to my home it was maybe a kilometer long. For the longest time I thought that for someone my age, my weight and who had smoked for 23 years, this was pretty far. Then one day I was running and I wondered if I could do the path twice and I did.  I was ecstatic. A few weeks later I decided to go off the path, that night I must of run of 4 or 5k, it was amazing. I realized that night that I had set the bar way to low, that my mind was keeping me small.  How often our minds become or biggest prison.

 One day I decided to run the Terry Fox run it was 10k, I had never run 10k before but I thought I would just try. I ran the whole distance,  came in last and had my picture on the front page of the Pickering newspaper. I think the photographer was late arriving and I was all that was left.

 I now own a run club, people come to me to learn to run and most want to get psychically fit or lose some weight. which is awesome, but a great reason to run is for mental health and for that spiritual connection we all crave. Every long time runner knows how running keeps us sane, helps with moodiness and generally gives us that alone time that is so needed. There have been times when I was running and I seemed to enter a new dimension where I felt so connected to my surroundings, I felt that oneness that yogi's speak of. Not all runs are like this but the ones that are show you a little glimpse of bliss.

Over the years I have been accused of running away from things, but truthfully any runner knows running doesn't' solve a problem but it may give you some quiet time in which clarity might surface.

Recently , when my husband was diagnosed with cancer, I couldn't run for a couple of weeks, I felt this pain in my chest and I just couldn't run. One day I forced my self out for a run, I had to hold onto  my chest with one hand, but I ran and finally the tears came, running had helped me release the emotional block and start dealing with my feelings around his illness. I had run right into the beginning of my healing, not away from the problem.

Here is a quote form Osho on running, I love Osho. Love him or hate him, I consider him one of the  greatest thinkers of our time. Reading his books has helped me find so much freedom from the bondage of what I call village thinking, or thinking like everyone else.

Osho -  If you can run then there is no need for any other meditation – it is enough! ... Any action in which you can be total becomes meditation, and running is so beautiful that you can be totally lost in it. And you are in contact with all the elements – the sun, the air, the earth, the sky; you are in contact with existence.

When you are running your breathing naturally goes very deep and it starts massaging the hara centre... which is in fact the centre from where meditative energy is released. It is just below the navel, two inches below the navel. When breathing goes deep it massages that centre, makes it alive. And when you are running, you are throwing all carbon dioxide out of your lungs. Carbon dioxide makes people dull, dead, frozen, blocked.

 Running against the wind is a perfect situation. It is a dance of the elements. And while running you cannot think: if you are thinking, then you are not running rightly. When you are running totally, thinking stops. You become too earth-bound, the head no more functions. The body is in such an activity that there is no energy left for the head to go on and on; the thinking stops.

And in those moments of non-thinking, your existence is pure, you simply are, you don’t know who. You don’t know if you are Indian, German, English, Christian, Mohammedan – you don’t know who you are. All is forgotten, you are unburdened of the head... you are again an animal! In that moment – when you are again an animal – there is a possibility to contact god.

These days I like to run on trails, it's a harder run to some degree but I love it, although I run with people, generally I will run ahead or drop back each run just to experience the oneness. I feel the community of the trees, the earth, the water, the sky and I feel love. Each runs gives me strength and compassion. I am still not sure why, but it happens. So the trails have become a church of sorts for me, I place I head to, to regroup, to listen and to strengthen myself for the week to come.

This fall signed up for a 50k trail race and what I look forward to the most is the mental challenge and the time outdoors connected to the God of my understanding.

With love,

Sheree xo  

Say no to Resolutions

 I love beginnings, a new year seems to bring to me a rush of creative energy, I am a goals type of person I love to try new things, set goals, and figure out what I want to experience next. This year for example,  I plan to try water skiing and surfing.

In the old days I used to set resolutions, dreary pledges to quit smoking, drink less, exercise more and to lose weight. Year after year I failed at these things, I drank more, continued smoking and did the yo yo dieting thing. It seemed like I lived on a roller coaster ride of hope, crashing into shame. I no longer make those types of resolutions and  I no longer drink, smoke and I am not overweight.

  I believe most resolutions fail because we are not ready, we are forcing ourselves to do something because we think we should not because it's time.

It's easy to diet, I can lose 20lbs in no time at all, the hard part is keeping it off. In my old days of dieting I would starve, look great, but in the back of my mind I was waiting for the diet to end so I could "eat" again, invariability soon after the compliments on how great I looked, faded. I would start eating again and the old habits would steadily creep back in. After each diet, I would gain back all the weight plus an extra 5 or 6 lbs. I would then begin the cycle all over again. This type of living caused me to feel deep shame and a sense of hopelessness.


The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. I wonder if most of our resolutions don't fall into this category. This is one of the reasons I don't suggest diets to my students, I know that diets don't work in the long run, that they mess with your metabolism, and ultimately the cycle of weight loss then weight gain, destroys your self esteem and you begin to live in mental prison.To know if you are in this mental prison now, ask yourself what it is you won't do because of your weight. 

Yoga is about opening the doors to that mental prison.

If you are overweight you are probably addicted to food and addictions are best treated spiritually, find the root of the fear and deal with the underlying emotions you are hiding. Dieting is like treating the symptom of the problem, the problem will still exist and soon the symptom will return.

These days I leave change to my yoga practice, by practicing yoga for years, each week coming to my mat just a few times, I have learned to listen to a quiet voice inside that gently leads me. I have been led to give up coffee, a diet pop addiction and have given up all animal products, not because I resolved to one New Years day but because the quiet voice told me it was time.  Because of this it was easy for me, I changed when I was truly ready, not because my monkey mind said so, but because I followed the whispers of  my soul .

So I guess what I am trying to share with you is my thoughts on resolutions, rather then making a list of resolutions why not begin a daily spiritual practice, get up early or find a more convenient time for you. Then use this time to try some meditation, maybe do some yoga, read well written spiritual books, journal, or listen to lectures on your iPhone. Begin to get to know yourself and learn how to listen to your quiet voice.

There is a difference between your mind and your inner voice, your mind is like a bad parent berating you for this or that, giving you a list of " should's " your inner voice is soft, quiet and loving.

So if you feel the need to set a resolution why not resolve to get to know yourself, to find out how amazing you really are.

With Love, 
Sheree
xo  

View From My Mat

Recently I went to Jamaica for a 3 day holiday, while there I got up early and did yoga on the beach in the quiet of the morning.

I was surprised though to discover something about myself that really quite shocked me,  I realized I was doing the safe poses, the ones I did well and the ones that were easy for me. I became aware that over the last little while, I was only ever doing the safe poses, I wasn't growing in my physical practice. This surprised me because I always consider myself a courageous person but truly I have been complacent. You may think so what  does this have to do with anything important ?  I have found that the more courageous I am in my practice the more courage I demonstrate in my life in general.

Later that same day I was sitting quietly on the beach just staring across the water, and became aware that  my life is way too safe, in that, I am not taking any chances, I have entered a comfortable place and am clinging to it. I have put some of my ideas and dreams on hold fearing the necessary effort and perhaps chaos that may occur in making these changes.. I realized over the last year I have lacked courage in so many areas, courage to speak my mind or to make changes necessary to make me happy.

I love yoga for the insights it gives to me, awareness is always the first step, now I know this about myself I can begin to change it. Living blindly not knowing who and what you are is a private hell on it's own.

As some of you know my husband has stage 3 cancer, a very aggressive type,  we now head into the battle against this cancer strong and courageous. We believe that we can beat cancer and have already begun the necessary steps, for us this means we refuse to be afraid of cancer we will not let fear creep into our thinking, we will take the necessary steps to fight it and in times of doubt turn to our faith to restore our courage.

The time alone in Jamaica was amazing.  It so easy to just keep going on the hamster wheel of life but time alone is so important to our spiritual growth. Time away from the noise of cellphones, work and life in general.

Welcome to Life

Welcome to life, it has it's up, downs and plateaus and it's not been easy for anyone. You are not alone in your struggles and that is so important to know.

When you are young life is about the next thing on your to-do list, you finish school, get a Masters Degree, get a job, get married etc....life is about the next accomplishment. But soon life settles down, you are married, you have a job and you have kids and yet there is an empty feeling, a sense that there has to be more to life than  this. For a while that empty feeling may be fed with a new car or holiday, you can redecorate a room in your house, and yet in those quiet moments, you still feel unsatisfied.

To me this is the blessing stage of your life, the chance to discover who you really are. It generally hits you around 40 but it could be earlier or a little later, but it will hit. For some it hits like a tsunami, these people rebel and we commonly call this a mid-life crisis. For others it is simply the dull ache of discontent. You can look around and see all you have, feel a degree of happiness but there is still an unsettled feeling.

So begins the second stage of your life, finding your Dharma (your reason for being here) ? What was I meant to do ? What am I passionate about ? I believe this second stage is about feeding your soul by finding what you are passionate about and doing it. Some are lucky to find it young, perhaps they are old souls. But most of us experience it later in life. Look to your childhood for some of the answers, what did you love to do ? Run, paint, write stories ? It doesn't have to mean drastic changes it could be just reconnecting with an old hobby or setting some personal goals. Maybe it's about reconnecting with your spiritual side.

Without a spiritual connection to the divine, happiness eludes many people, the symptoms of this include depression, loneliness, low energy and lack of enthusiasm. For me yoga provides some of this connection but I also need spiritual people, people on a higher path, whom I can trust and who allow me to let down my mask and be real.

I love being real with people, it is just a more satisfying connection.  There are maybe 3 people,  I am completely emotionally naked with and this makes me rich in friends. I also believe in God, years ago I stopped trying to define God and have allowed god to gently reveal himself to me.

You may think I have drifted from my point, but I haven't. Living your passion, finding your god, and trying to live by spiritual principles will change your entire outlook on life. Just watch your passion and energy grow. 


Find the time you need, it is there, give up on your excuses, get up early, watch less TV, give up those time wasters, hire a cleaning company. Create a special time just for yourself.  In yoga we call this  practice, sadhana , a holy or quiet time dedicated to connecting with yourself. Read positive books, go for a run or a walk, do yoga, or sit quietly and meditate, do this alone and the universe will reveal to you all that is has planned for you in it's own time. 


Last week my spiritual director told me that life was about courage. Making changes takes courage. My wish for you is that you have the courage to be happy, to seek the advice, make the choices and to risk the risks that will bring true happiness to your life.  

My wish for myself is that I have the courage it takes to follow my heart, one more time. I wonder why if always feels so scary, like walking a tightrope in the dark. I know Gods hand will always there, yet I still doubt.


I leave you with this quote, this quote profoundly affected my life many years ago.

“It takes courage...to endure the sharp pains of self discovery rather than choose to take the dull pain of unconsciousness that would last the rest of our lives.”

― Marianne Williamson, Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles"

Week 6 Meatless Monday

 I had an fun weekend we were very active physically, but Saturday night we rested by watching TV something we rarely do. The highlights of the weekend were a Yogaflight workshop on Friday night, where we learned some basic Acro Yoga moves and then Sunday we ran for about 1 1/2 hours in Durham Forest, the fall colours just starting and the air was crisp making for a great run.

Here's a picture from our YogaFlight workshop.

This weeks recipes are awesome, really great Vegan food. I hope you enjoy them.

Breakfast

I love pumpkin, adding it to oatmeal makes for a nice change of pace. This is what I am having for breakfast this morning.

Ingredients

• 1 cup quick-cooking rolled oats
• 3/4 cup unsweetned almond milk, or as needed
• 1/2 cup canned pumpkin puree
• 1/4 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice
• 1 teaspoon cinnamon sugar ( I use coconut sugar)

Directions

1. Mix together oats and milk in a microwave-safe bowl. Cook on high for 1 to 2 minutes, stirring once. Add more milk or oats to achieve the desired consistency, and cook for another 30 seconds. Stir in pumpkin puree, pumpkin pie spice, and cinnamon sugar. Heat through, and serve.

Lunch 

This soup is simple and amazing, the coconut milk adds a nice subtle flavour to the soup.

From the book, Whole Foods to Thrive

Brendan Brazier

Squash Soup

2 Butternut Squash

28oz Coconut Milk (unsweetened)

Sea Salt

Trim the ends of the squash, slice lengthwise and place skin up on a baking sheet covered with parchment paper. Bake at 325 degrees, until soft.

Let squash cool to room temperature, then scoop out insides and discard skin.

Place squash and coconut milk into a soup pot and bring to boil, simmer for about 20 mins.

Using your immersion blender, blend squash and coconut milk until smooth, or place soup in blender and blend at high speed.

Salt to taste.

Dinner

Black Bean Burgers

I generally serve my burgers on a lightly toasted Ezekiel brand English Muffin but regular buns will do. Black beans hold together better than other types of beans so make a great burger. Serve with salad or some homemade sweet potato fries.

Prep Time: 10 minutes

Cook Time: 10 minutes

Total Time: 20 minutes

Ingredients:

    1/2 onion, diced

    1 can black beans, well drained

    1/2 cup flour

    2 slices bread, crumbled

    1 tsp garlic powder

    1 tsp onion powder

    1/2 tsp seasoned salt

    salt and pepper to taste

    oil for frying

Preparation:

Sautee the onions till soft, about 3-5 minutes.

In a large bowl, mash the beans until almost smooth. Add sauteed onions and the rest of the ingredients, except the oil, adding the flour a few tablespoons at a time to combine well. Mixture will be thick.

Form bean mixture into patties, approximately ½ inch thick and fry patties in a small amount of oil until slightly firm. Make veggie burgers and enjoy!

Have fun with  your burger toppings, buy a great mustard, add some sprouts or a homemade relish.


Nutrition Information (from Calorie Count):

Servings: 6

Calories per serving: 294, Calories from Fat: 11, Total Fat: 1.2g, Cholesterol: 0mg, Sodium: 25mg

Total Carbohydrates: 55.3g, Dietary Fiber:11.3g, 45% RDA, Protein: 16.8g

Vitamin A 0%, Vitamin C 1%, Calcium 10%, Iron 23%, based on a 2000 calorie diet